Saturday, May 01, 2010

Freedom to Love or Freedom to have Sex?

We live in a society that has topsy-turvy values.

Not more than two generations ago, being a virgin was considered a virtue; something that was honorable.

Now, it is met with sniggers. So much so that a movie title of “40-year old virgin” is considered funny. I wonder whether these same people also snigger with derision when someone mentions “virgin Mary”.

I really question when people say they want to have the freedom to love, I think they are really confusing it with the freedom to have sex.

We live in a world where words have been turned from its original meaning to mean something else. For the sake of political correctness or to avoid unwanted connotations.

“Make love” sounds so much better than “sex”. It sounds so less carnal.

But the thing about love and sex is that they are two different activities.

  1. A man has sex with a prostitute. After a night of passion he leaves her, never ever seeing her again.
  2. A man loves a woman and finds that she has HIV. He can probably not have sex with her at all, yet still marries her.

Which of these two men showed love? And was sex involved?

The point is that love does not mean sex.

Okay, so you say. We want to have freedom to have sex. We should not be restricted in who we have sex with, especially if its consensual.

But there are people we cannot have sex with, even if its consensual. We cannot commit incest. We cannot have sex with our parents or siblings.

We also cannot commit adultery. No matter how attracted we are to someone else, if either party is married, we must deny our sexual urges and stay true to what we know is right.

But being tolerant, society has turned a blind eye to these activities. We believe that what you do in private is your personal business. It only becomes our business when you parade down the street proudly proclaiming what we believe should be your own personal business.

We have become tolerant of people having affairs. We have become tolerant of people having multiple spouses. We have become tolerant of fornication. We have become tolerant of lust and unrestraint appetites.

I believe that self-control is still a virtue.

We all have to contend with our sexual impulses, we should not be hypocrites. But just because we have not achieved perfection does not mean we do not strive for perfection and virtue.