Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Spending Time

Time is really the most valuable commodity that we have. And yet we fritter it away needlessly.

Surfing the net, playing computer games, talking cock.

What we really need is to really have in mind what is the purpose for every moment.

But it's tough. Why, because thinking is tough. Thinking of what we want for this moment, of taking responsibility for each moment, for each word that we speak. It's something that doesn't come naturally.

It is easy to do whatever comes to our eyes at that moment, a TV program, a newspaper article, an email. But thinking "What is the most important thing must I do?" is hard. Secondly, actually doing it is hard, not physically hard, but the inertia of moving our bodies based on what we command it to do. Doing chores for example is easy. What special skill is there in sweeping the floor or doing the laundry? But it's hard because our flesh doesn't want to do it, even though our mind and spirit wants to do it.

I think perhaps one idea to realize is that we must relinquish our lives. Life is like that. We don't control our environment, but only how we respond to it. I wish that there were never any chores to do in life, but life is like that. There are so many things that we wish in life, but in reality is different.

I wish that I had more time in the evenings when I come back from Bible study or from rehearsals. I wish I could learn the guitar, learn martial arts, learn dance, and so many things. But life is limited. In reality, minus our sleep and working hours, eating, exercising, we only have about 2-3 hours of free time each day. I wish it was 5, but it isn't.

I wish I was a better teacher, actor, had more money, had my own house, were married to a beautiful wife, more intelligent, more confident, had a better body, had better business skills, had better credentials, more loving.

All these are good, and some I am right now working on accomplishing but we have to have priorities, do it step-by-step, have a plan on how to do it, and constantly monitor our progress towards them. But we have limited resources. Time, money (I can't afford a maid to do my chores), relationships, physical limitations (I realize I need 7.5 - 8 hours to be in peak mental condition), mental limitations (I only know so much, I've only learnt so much).

So, we have to make decisions on how we use it. Letting go of one thing for what we must decide is the most important. Sometimes I think that the distractions that we allow ourselves to get distracted with are our way of avoiding facing the important questions in life. What is the most important thing I have to do? What is my purpose in life? How am I going after it?

But whatever our condition, God asks what we do with it. I am not Bill Gates or Warren Buffett or Steven Spielberg or Hugh Jackman. I am Nicodemus Chan. And that speaks something. And I can do something about it. God can use me.