Live Life With No Regrets!

There is also what we might call the urgency of laziness. This is an apparent paradox, for laziness and urgency would seem to be exact opposites. In practice, however, laziness can be a powerful spur to thought. This point is neatly made by Dr Nathan Kline: "I always try to do things the simplest way. And I think laziness is a virtue. If you have to get your work done and you're lazy, you'll find a better way to do it and one that requires less effort and time, so laziness is a virtue when you combine it with enough compulsiveness to be sure you get there."

Posted by Nico at 8:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

My predictions for today:

Germany 2 - Argentina 1
Italy 0 - Ukraine 0 (Italy win 4-3 on penalties)

Posted by Nico at 8:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

This book is struck a chord in me from the very first chapter which gives testimonials of people who struggled against fear and psychological programming instilled from the upbringing or environment. I learnt that we all struggle against this fear to ask for help, for assistance, for favours.

Here are my thoughts and how I relate it to other knowledge.

There is a seeming paradox in life that we have to reconcile. The book of James advises us not to ask with selfish motives, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't ask! Jesus said "Ask and it shall be given you."

We grow from dependency to independence. But independence isn't the end of the journey. Covey writes in his 7 Habits book that the next step is inter-dependency. And asking is the key to inter-dependency. It means that even though we are indenpendent persons, we are still part of a whole framework, a system and network of people that help one another.

Adler writes that most of us grow up with an inferiority complex. In fact, we all do. However, Christ says "All authority in heaven and earth has been given to me." With God on our side, who can be against us?

Ask, ask, ask, and ask.

Read the first few chapters of this book, after that you can skim through the advice given. It is filled with a lot of testimonials which you can skim through. Recognize the barriers and practise asking. Believe that you can have anything that you want.

The message in the book is good, just filled with too many examples. It could have been condensed to 1/3 of its size.

The extended entry provides a list of topics covered.

The 5 Barriers to Asking

1. Ignorance
   • We don't know what is available and possible
   • We don't know how to ask
2. Limiting and Inaccurate Beliefs
   • Programming
     • We are programmed by our parents
     • We are programmed at school
     • We are programmed by the media
     • We are conditioned by religious training
     • We are programmed by "experts"
   • Limiting Beliefs
     • If you really loved me, I wouldn't have to ask
     • The world is not a responsive place
     • My success will deprive someone else
     • If I get what I want, it will make me unhappy
3. Fear
• Fear of Rejection
• Fear of Looking Stupid
• Fear of Being Powerless
• Fear of Humiliation
• Fear of Punishment
• Fear of Abandonment
• Fear of Endless Obligation
4. Low Self-Esteem
   • Happy to be wanted by anybody
   • A feeling of unworthiness
   • My needs are not important
   • I am not worth it
   • The fear that rejection will confirm some deep-seated core belief about myself.
5. Pride
   • I'm afraid to appear less weak and needy.
   • Fear that people will judge me for not already having it.
   • We are programmed in pride.
   • We are supposed to be able to figure it out by ourselves

7 Characteristics of Askers

1. They know what they want.
2. They believe they are worthy of receiving it.
3. They believe they can get it.
4. They are passionate about it.
5. They take action in the face of fear.
6. They learn from their experience.
7. They are persistent.

Knowing What To Ask For

1. Make a list of 101 wishes
2. Clarify your vision
3. Complete the perfect day fantasy
4. Complete the "I Want" process
5. Stretch Your Imagination
6. Visualize your dream
7. Create your dream

How To Ask

• Ask as if you expect to get it.
  • Ask with a positive expectation
  • See it the way you want it to be
  • Ask with conviction
  • Assume you can
• Ask someone who can give it to you
  • Realize that some people aren't capable of delivering
  • Ask someone whose business it is to know
  • Ask people who are qualified and motivated to help
  • Ask the experts
  • Reconsider who is an expert
  • Get the person's full attention
• Be clear and specific
  • Be specific in your requests
  • Be careful what you ask for
  • Ask for what you want, not for what you don't want
  • It is possible to be too specific
• Ask from your heart
  • Ask with passion
  • Ask with urgency and passion
  • Ask with eye contact
  • Ask in a kind voice
  • Ask politely
  • Ask with respect and admiration
• Ask with humour and creativity
  • Ask with humour
  • Ask creatively
• Give in order to get
  • Give something to get something
  • You have to give to get
  • Give a gift
  • Give compliments or praise
  • Explain what's in it for them
  • Tell your partner how it beneifts him or her
• Ask repeatedly
  • Just say NEXT!
  • Look forward to the no's
  • Ask the same people again and again
  • Be tenacious, persevere, never give up
• How to deal with resistance
  • Don't lose your cool
  • Don't create resistance
  • Ask with authority and be prepared for a no
  • A no may be a blessing in disguise
  • Be gracious in accepting a no
  • Don't burn your bridges.

Posted by Nico at 8:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Having a buffet breakfast may seem nice, but in the end you have to watch what you eat to prevent yourself from missing your weight goals. I'm trying to lose the 2 kilos I've gained since arriving here.

In the end, you start to gravitate to certain favourite foods in the menu and avoid others that you don't like.

The nice thing about these breakfasts are actually the little extra things they provide that don't really cost a lot.

What I like about breakfast at the Hilton:
Some sunflower seeds, dried figs, and fruit to sprinkle on your cereal, choice of low-fat, skim or full cream milk. Choice of coffee. tea, milo, hot-chocolate. Food that is kept warm and not cold. The waitress that greets you good-morning and ushers you to your table. Serving you your drink and asking you whether you want smoking or non-smoking.

Even though the listed price of the breakfast is RM40 you don't eat RM40 worth of food. You can't. The value is in the variety of choice that is available.

Which leads to some good business lessons. Just by offering a variety that doesn't really cost a lot, (because the customer can't eat everything) you create added value that allows you charge even more because of the perceived value.

It is these little things that make the difference between a 5-star hotel and a 4-star hotel.

Posted by Nico at 6:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

"Jesus stopped and called them. "What do you want me to do for you?" he asked." (Matthew 20:32)

This seems to be one of the most obvious questions to ask a blind man from Jesus, then why should he even ask it in the first place?

The thing about it is this, people need to ask what they want because people in life don't know what they want.

We need to know what we want.

In life, we have this vague idea of what we want. We go about life having desires but not really crystalizing our desires into expressions of need.

It reminds me of the movie "Bruce Almighty" which in the end showed that most people don't know what they really want.

Some people want to be rich. But how rich? A person with a scooter in Bangladesh is quite rich. A person with a car in Singapore is rich, but a person with a car in LA would be the norm.

We must be specific in our needs and desires and have self-knowledge of ourselves. Only then can we set about concrete steps to get what we want.

Posted by Nico at 3:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Your greatest asset isn't your car or your house or stocks, fixed deposits, etc.

Your greatest asset is you.

What are you doing to improve yourself? What are you doing to increase your value?

Are you taking care of yourself?

Do you constantly take courses, or go for classes?

Are you getting enough rest and exercise? Are you eating right?

Are you building up and enhancing your reputation, creating a good name for yourself, or as accountants call it creating "goodwill" for yourself.

Posted by Nico at 10:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

My predictions for today:

Switzerland 1 - Ukraine 0
Spain 2 - France 0

Posted by Nico at 8:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I found out that GT stands for Gran Turismo. That sort of identifies it for me from the games.

It's a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Because I won't be attending one of these events again. I found watching cars zoom by pretty boring.

But if you want to experience it, make sure you bring along your ear-plugs. They are LOUD!

I learned also that the GT event is actually two races in one. There are the GT300 cars (300hp) and the GT500 cards (500hp) that are racing at the same time. The 500 cars being the faster will have to overtake the 300 cars along the track.

After about 35 minutes of watching this race I took a break too look around for the umbrella girls.

You don't have to buy the pitpass (RM 100) to check them out. During the race they do come out into the main grandstand area and you can watch them on stage.

All in all, an interesting experience but not something I would go again. Perhaps the thing that adds value to it are the babes, because I can't for the sake of my life could enjoy seeing cars going round and round a track for 54 laps.

Posted by Nico at 8:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

My predictions for today:

Brazil 3 - Ghana 2
Italy 3 - Australia 0

Posted by Nico at 11:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

It seems to me that leadership and management can be seen to be thought of as social engineering.

It seems very manipulative term but that is the goal of leadership and management to utilize the resources available including humans involved to achieve some kind of goal.

Posted by Nico at 11:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

My predictions for today:

England 2 - Ecuador 1
Portugal 2 - Netherlands 1

Posted by Nico at 8:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

My predictions for today:

Germany 2 - Sweden 2 (Germany go through 4 - 3 on penalties)
Argentina 3 - Mexico 1

Posted by Nico at 8:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

My predictions for today:

Saudi Arabia 0 - Spain 4
Ukraine 2 - Tunisia 0
Switzerland 2 - South Korea 1
Togo 1 - France 1

Posted by Nico at 12:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

My predictions for today:

Czech Republic 0 - Italy 0
Ghana 2 - United States 1
Croatia 1 - Australia 2
Japan 2 - Brazil 1 (yes! Brazil I believe will be unmotivated to win the match.)

One of the reasons I'm doing these predictions is to prove to myself to never, ever, ever, ever bet on football matches.

Almost none of my predictions were ever spot on. And my win, lose or draw predictions also is just as bad. At the end of the world cup, I'll tally up the statistics to see how much I predicted right.

Posted by Nico at 7:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

My predictions for today:

Ivory Coast 2 - Serbia & Montenegro 0
Holland 1 - Argentina 2
Iran 0 - Angola 1
Portugal 2 - Mexico 0

Posted by Nico at 7:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

You can accomplish far less in 1 year than you would expect and far more in 5 than you can imagine.

Posted by Nico at 12:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

A lot of companies think that buying an expensive tool will increase productivity.

But to take the principle of the maxim "A bad craftsman always blames his tools", I think that you should educate your workers, spend money and time to improve the skills of your workers.

Think of it this way, it's no good buying a Stradivarius for a mediocre violinist. Only a good violinist will know how to utilize and coax the best out of it.

Therefore, improve your skills in life, become the best, the tools are secondary to the craftsman. If you are in charge or a company, make sure you budget for training. No doubt a good tool can improve productivity by a multiplicative effect but only if the workers themselves are skilled and know how to integrate it into their work.

Posted by Nico at 10:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The main feel of the book is basically about finding the right positioning and brand statement for your product. He list's down the ABC's of marketing:

A: Audience
B: Benefit
C: Compelling Reason Why

Everything you do must be based on your brand which is linked to your C, the unique value proposition that you are selling to your audience.

Don't just advertise your brand logo, link it always to something that you want your audience to feel or be connected to.

Because of his background, he provides tales from his experience in Coca-Cola, Disney, and P & G. He provides the perspective of both the retail space marketer selling many products (P&G) versus a single special brand-name selling only one kind of product (Coca-Cola).

In all the cases, whether it be sports, or retail, he strives to stress that your product must be linked into the audience mind so that he/she can recall your brand easily or find your product easily on the shelves.

It is, as always in business, what is so special about your XXX product?

Marketing is a very expensive game, if you don't know what you are doing, you could be throwing literally millions down the drain. In the end, your dollar spent should be used to increase your sales.

Posted by Nico at 8:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

How can there be free will and predestination?

Not an easy question to answer.

One aspect may be to look at it from a different angle, literally.

The thing about dimensions is that we live in time-flow. We cannot see the future, but we can see the past. We have to make all decisions according to our frame of reference, i.e. make the best decision according to the amount of knowledge and understanding we have of the situation.

God, being an enternal being sees your the beginning and the end of the universe at the same time. He sees your birth and your death. He can alter the time line whatever way he wants.

But because we aren't God, we cannot be responsible for altering the timeline from his point of reference. We are responsible for our actions in our frame of reference and that is--to reiterate--be responsible according to the amount of knowledge of the past and understanding we have of the situation.

Let God handle his side of things from the angle of eternity. We just handle what we can.

Posted by Nico at 7:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

My predictions for today:

Japan 1 - Croatia 0
Brazil 3 - Australia 3
France 0 - South Korea 1

Posted by Nico at 7:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

My predictions for today:

Argentina 2 - Serbia & Montenegro 0
Ivory Coast 1 - Holland 1
Mexico 1 - Angola 1

Posted by Nico at 7:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

This article about having 4 dutch coaches in the world cup illustrates John Maxwell's law of reproduction at work.

All of these coaches can be traced to the work of one man, Rinus Michels and how his legacy has produced many coaches of top quality.

Maxwell illustrates in his book the "21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership" General Electric and NFL coaches that have traced their influence to just one man in their respective fields.

Therefore, in order to become a better leader you must seek out great leaders and learn from them. Find the best leader in your field, join his company, and learn from him or her.

Posted by Nico at 1:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

My predictions for today:

Ecuador 1 - Costa Rica 1
England 3 - Trinidad & Tobago 0
Sweden 2 - Paraguay 2

Posted by Nico at 12:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

My predictions for today:

Germany 3 - Poland 1
Spain 1 - Ukraine 1
Tunisia 3 - Saudi Arabia 0

Posted by Nico at 1:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

If I were to change the education system I would want children to learn these early on:

1. Learning how to learn. Children need to learn how to learn even from primary school this gives them the skills to cope with it.
2. Financial wisdom. Money is one of the most important components in life. (It isn't the most important, but it still is important.) It is the fluid of human society and learning how to manage it will enable people to be more in charge of their lives rather than to let money control their lives.
3. Social and Communication skills. We spend 60-80% of our lives communicating yet we emphasise only the mechanical skills like grammer and spelling. The principle of using these skills successfully will enable people to understand each other better.
4. Leadership skills. Leadership isn't being the alpha male/female which implies being better than others. It's about knowing what to do in life and how to go about rather than flounder helplessly with the tide of human whims, emotions, trends and peer pressure.
5. Time management. Time, the most important resource in the world. Yet no-one teaches this formally?
6. Servanthood. We all serve one another. From Kings to the humblest ant. Each entity has a purpose. Learn the right perspective.
7. Values/Ethics/Philosophy/Religion. The material world is created from the unseen, we must understand the spiritual side of life, for we are spiritual beings having human experiences not humans having spiritual experiences.
8. Sports. Excellence in the material world with the thing that we control the closest. Our bodies.
9. Image, PR, Grooming and Fashion. We project ourselves and communicate non-verbally as well. Looking good has always been a human thing. People can never know the "real" us. They can only know what they perceive. How well they perceive the "real" us is only as good as how we project ourselves.

Posted by Nico at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Don't wait for people to appreciate you in order to feel good.

The realities of life is that 90% of the people around you are so wrapped up in the troubles and worries of life that they don't learn to appreciate the world around them.

Anyone can leave the rat-race at anytime. But most don't.

If you can find people who are encouraging and who love people around them, they are truly a rare blessing in this world.

Therefore with these facts of life, you must:
1) Find these gems of people in your network and associate with them. There will be these people, you just have to seek them out.
2) Be a gem yourself. Take time each day and each week to step out and look at the big picture. Appreciate God's creation and people, one of God's greatest creations.

Posted by Nico at 10:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Rather than assume that you start out with no power in life and accumulate it bit-by-bit or are given permission, assume the other way: That you have all the power in the world but are limited by laws, expectation and love for others.

Posted by Nico at 11:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I predict:

Germany 4 - Costa Rica 1 and
Poland 2 - Ecuador 0.

Changi Airport shouldn't be called an airport. It should be called Changi, the shopping mall with the airport attached.

Posted by Nico at 11:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Are people really stupid?

Perhaps in fact, they're just uninformed or that we have greater and deeper insight than them.

Do we avoid conflict by saying we were just "lucky" in knowing the right thing?

Does Tiger Woods say when he wins a tournament that he was just lucky in getting the ball into the hole? "Aiyah, just lucky leh, I happen to hit the ball at the right angle, nothing much too it. And the wind blew at the right time."

Or how about Evander Holyfield when he beats an opponent to pulp? "I didn't do much leh. I just held out my fist and his chin landed on it."

Funny? However, that's the sort of statements you get in Singapore/Malaysian culture. The Asian modesty and "humility" at work.

It seems that people don't want to seen to be arrogant, or to be better than their peers.

I remember in my own life it started in Standard 1 (Primary 1). All I did was say something I knew (I can't even remember what it was) or perhaps acted something out and another kid said "Wah! You so action ah?"

I observe people who get straight A's who receive their awards with head bowed embarassed in getting their prize. There's nothing wrong with it in the right context. Sometimes it is embarassing to get an award. But can you imagine the Brazil team lifting aloft the World Cup "embarassed" to win something they've trained hard and long for?

Real competition has nothing to do with crushing an opponent, it is in doing your best and in building each other up.

The "loser" in a game doesn't lose. He has won because he has tried his best and has stretched himself with someone better than him. (Better than him this time that is.)

We think that in being self-deprecating we do not hurt our opponents feelings or make him down. No, that isn't it. In fact, if you think so, it means you're living in a scarcity mentality. If your opponent is mature enough and has the same attitude, he can handle defeat and grow stronger from it.

But does it then strikes as pride? What then is humility? What is true humility?

Humility when others lose isn't downplaying yourself or others but upplaying.

It's emphasis should be on building others up, not on tearing others (including yourself) down.

Posted by Nico at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

In each stage of our lives there are illusions to give up. Erik Eriksson lists down the following, which is quoted in Scott Peck's "The Road Less Travelled":

1. The state of infancy, in which no external demands need be responded to
2. The fantasy of omnipotence
3. The desire for total possession of one's parents
4. The dependency of childhood
5. Distorted images of one's parents
6. The omnipotentiality of adolescence
7. The "freedom" of uncommitment
8. The agility of youth
9. The sexual attractiveness and/or potency of youth
10. The fantasy of immortality
11. Authority over one's children
12. Various forms of temporal power
13. The independence of physical health
14. And, ultimately, the self and life itself.

Posted by Nico at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Most of the time God's word is a blessing to others.

However, the practices and customs of God's church and his word can be used as a disguise for our sins of fear, hate, pride, prejudice and the like.

In mild cases, for example a person afraid of making a decision often can use the religious clichés of "I've yet to hear from God about this.", "Let's pray about it.", "Let me check the word of God". It's a kind of religious paralysis of analysis. He/she is just afraid to step out in faith even after diligent prayer and research.

In other cases, religion is used as a tool to control others or to keep them in check. "Have you prayed about it?" can be a valid case of concern or a way of casting doubt on a person's decision. There are parents who use the 5th commandment--"Thou shalt honor thy father and mother"--to manipulate or spiritually blackmail their children into submission or to keep them within the chains of their ego.

Parents like this use it so that instead of "Thy will be done in my children" it becomes "My will be done in my children" using their children as extensions of themselves to live out their own lives vicariously and live by proxy, projecting their fears, hates, anxieties and prejudices onto them.

There can even be the sin of pride in religion. A person can be proud of being the most prayerful or pious person in his church or community. Heck, there can even be people who are proud of being the most humble. Talk about oxymoron! The yeast of the Pharisees is still alive even in the church. Beware.

Posted by Nico at 1:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Protecting and respecting your own privacy is a statement to yourself and others that you value yourself and your own peace of mind.

Posted by Nico at 10:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

We don't manage companies or departments.

We manage people in companies and departments.

It's people skills and managing them.

We don't manage a project, we manage our interactions and relations with people who implement a project.

We don't manage a stage, we manage the people who follow and implement a system for running a stage show.

If that's the case, how come we don't teach people skills and be people oriented. If communicating with people takes up 60-80% of our time why aren't those skills taught? Why leave it to chance interaction or whether you were fortunate enough to be born with good parents or friends?

Posted by Nico at 2:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The human mind has limited resources.

This is a principle that has implications on a lot of human activity.

You should not provide information to someone that is more than 7-8 bullet points at one go.

You should not explain a process to someone that has more than 7-8 steps.

You should explain something to someone in bold letters in about 250 words on one A4 sheet of paper.

Program modules should not be more than 300-400 lines long.

You should not have more than 7-8 items on your desk at one time. Keep staplers, pens, pencils etc away...

It is difficult to plan more than 2 years in advance. (5 year plans are theoretical... has anyone's 5 year plans ever worked out as planned?)

You should have only about 7-12 people as your direct followers.

How does this principle apply?

In business Branding and sales thrives because of limited human mind capacity.

You can only remember the top 3-5 brands of most items that you need. Cars, shoes, clothes... even if you can recall more than 7 or more, there are only 2-3 that you frequent the most.

You can't remember every feature of cars, for example, but you use logo, brand association and emotional attachment to link your mind to what you know.

In presentations or speeches you should only have 1 major point to speak and perhaps 7 sub-points. Nothing more.

Posted by Nico at 11:41 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

PDF of this document available here.

Posted by Nico at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Cheering Each Other On

1. Active or passive, congratulations must be TRUE.
• Congratulations are affirmations that who people are and what they do matter, and that they are making valuable contribution toward achieving the shared mission.
• Telling people what a great job they've done or presenting an award is an active congratulation. Passive congratulations are such things as stepping aside and letting a team member go forward with a tricky, complicated, and important project, without exercising some sort of control or even offering advice.
• You can't overdo TRUE congratulations: Timely, Responsive, Unconditional, Enthusiastic.
2. No score, no game, and cheer the progress.
• At football games fans don't sit mute as the ball is moved down the field, waiting for the touchdown before cheering. Cheer the progress, not just the results. Measurement (score) shared with everyone generates excitement..
• The farther congratulations are to the right on the scale below, the better (more effective) they are:
• Programmed-->Spontaneous
• Blanket-->Individual
• General-->Specific
• Traditional-->Unique
• Stop focusing on problems and the guilty party (police behaviour) and start looking for those responsible for things gone right (coach behaviour)..
3. e=mc2--Enthusiasm equals mission times cash and congratulations.
• Worthwhile work and being in control of achieving the goal--that's a mission.
• Cheering each other on brings enthusiasm to work.
• Cash comes first--you need to feed material needs, (food, clothing, etc.) before you can feed the spirit with congratulations..

Posted by Nico at 10:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)