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"Every time you make a real decision, you own more of yourself."
- Knowing Your Priorities.
Know yourself, be integrated.
- Establishing Realistic Goals and Expectations.
Goals that are based unrealistically on poor information, self-inflation, pride, poor research, very limited experience, or no expertise are designed for failure.
To break the habit, choose simple goals that are easily attainable.
- Knowing There Is Always a Price to Pay.
This applies to both action and inaction. Unwillingness to pay a price destroys the possibility of decision, responsible
- Self-Confidence I: Recognizing Major Personal Assets.
We must believe in ourself, or else we will be uncommitted to our decision.
Know that you have assets or take a personal self-inventory.
- Knowing and Exploring Your Proclivities.
Your personal and inner urges.
Your hidden talents should be brought out.
- Self-Confidence II: Getting Over Fear of Rejection and Failure.
The obsessive need for "Love" can hand over all decision-making to others. (Personal Note: Making a decision ourselves can actually be more loving than letting others make a decision. Especially when you're the one in charge or know the right thing to do.)
Fear of rejection kills spontaneity and adventure of any kind.
We simply must take chances and realize that while our pride may be hurt, our real selves remain unscathed.
Allowing ourselves to be rejected is actually liberating. We are actually free! We are then able to make decisions, not out of fear, but of real desire.
- Knowing That It Is Easier to Leave a Person, Place, Situation, Job, Activity or Anything Else than to Find One to Go To.
Leaving doesn't solve problems. We sometimes have an imaginary place somewhere that always makes our present one far inferior.
Decisions without destinations are usually suspect.
Decisions involving destinations are usually the real thing.
- Knowing That Conditions Are Always Imperfect.
Decisions and moves be predicated on our needs, desires, assets and priorities.
It is imperative that we know that success through decision power is the result of commitment to our choice.
- Recognizing That Moods Make A Difference.
Sometimes we may have to wait for the right mood. (But do not use this as an excuse for a pseudodecision).
If it is not a command decision. The timing may not be right. The death of a bereaved one, or the overenthusiastic euphoria over a certain option through perhaps a vacation.
- Accepting Ambivalence.
Mixed feelings can be there and sometimes almost always there, it is part of human nature.
Consult your hierarchy of priorities.
- Self-Confidence III: Handling Insecurity and Anxiety.
Don't get anxious about being anxious.
The initial anxiety is actually preparation psychological for a shift of a center of gravity. It heightens and alerts our minds of the coming change.
As long as we accept fear and anxiety they won't snowball.
- Acquiring Commitment, Investment, Involvement.
'nuff said.
- The Value of Integrated Concentration.
Bring our total selves into it. Align our thoughts and efforts into the action, just like the molecules in a Samurai sword have been aligned through thousands of folds to create the finest cutting edge.
- Profiting from Other People's Experience, Expertise and Help.
Do not let pride stop you from asking others for their experience.
This takes self-esteem and humility.
The more secure you are about yourself, the less fear you have of being thought of as "stupid" and "dumb."
The irony is that those who have strong opinions are least afraid to ask others of their opinions. They are also less vulnerable to manipulation and coercion.
- Delegating Responsibility.
This involves humility to say, "I can't do it all myself."
- The Effective Use of Time.
- Insight, Motivation, Discpline.
- The Postponement of Gratification.
- The Value of Struggle.
- Self-Confidence IV: Knowing and Accepting What It Means to Be a Person.
Separate yourself from your image. Sometimes we are trapped by an image that is imposed by others. Or our pride and temptation steps in, e.g. "You will be the youngest person ever to have done this.", etc.
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