Live Life With No Regrets!

The Peter Principle: in a hierarchically structured administration, people tend to be promoted up to their "level of incompetence". (I.e. People in a company will always finally be in positions where they are incompetent. Because of this, watch out for people who are not moving up. Those are the ones who are incompetent in their current position.)

The Red Queen Principle: continuing development is needed just in order to maintain its fitness relative to the systems it is co-evolving with. (This is true in life, my maxim is: the day you stop growing, is the day you start to die. Not just in comparison with others, once you say to yourself, "there is nothing left for me to learn" you'll start becoming lazy, and your mind starts to dismiss signs of things which threaten your comfort zone.)

Parkinson's Law: Work expands to fill the amount of time allocated.

The Principle of Incomplete Knowledge: The model embodied in a control system is necessarily incomplete. (You will never have perfect knowledge of any situation. We must learn to handle uncertainty and risk. I have extrapolated this to: because you never have enough knowledge you will never have enough time or resources to try to pursue and corner every angle of a situation.

Which leads to another related maxim I've come to conclude:

The Nico Principle: "There is never enough resources for all that you want to do or achieve at any one moment", (Let's call it the Nico principle for now, until I find someone who has come up with it before I did). "there is never enough time in life" and "there is never enough money in life". No matter what station you have in life, there is always something just beyond your reach which you will not have abundant resources to achieve, you always have to be thrifty and efficient and time management wise.

http://pespmc1.vub.ac.be/DEFAULT.html

Posted by Nico at 4:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The thing is, what kind of story are you living, what do you believe your story is like?

If you believe your life is a tragedy, you will script the events and the actions that you take to be a tragedy, you subconscious mind will look for people to audition to be villains in your life story. You will choose events, activities, and actions that will fulfill your story.

On the other hand, if you believe that life is one of success, then you will begin associating yourself with successful people and put yourself in situations where you will be succesful. You will cast people in your life that will support your role as a success story.

But what if your life has events that would be a tragedy?

The movie "Life is Beautiful" shows how you can turn it around. The protagonist, made his life into a romantic comedy even in the darkest times, even in the valley of the shadow of death he could turn it into comic relief.

So, no matter what, make life beautiful.

Posted by Nico at 12:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

To all my friends, relatives and readers, wishing you a Happy and Prosperous Chinese New Year!

Posted by Nico at 10:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

This is a scenario with a boss that will never happen:

Oh, Nico, I see you're not satisfied working here. I know the workloads tough, and the pay isn't so well. Tell you what, here's a 20% increment starting next month.

And you know, you're right, I'm pretty abrasive in my manners, because of that, I'm going for anger management classes to sort it out.

And that suggestion you put up? Well, I'm going to tell the board that it was all your idea and none of mine, they might even give you my job. That's okay, because I know I've already reached my level of incompetency.

But if a promotion isn't for you, you know, there's this opening I heard at a competitor, the pays double what we can pay here but we don't mind, as long as you're happy.

But you know, I always observe my staff and their strengths, and I suggest that you resign and start your own company, with all the knowledge and network of contacts you've gained here, I'm quite sure you'll do well.

The moral of this story is that you've got to think of your own career, people think about themselves and their own interests 99.999% of the time. Nobody will tell you what's best for you.

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Marriage builds wealth more than being single? - Yahoo! News

Another reason to get married?

I think the reason is that once you are living with another person, you become more aware of your wealth and about saving money rather than risk your disposable income on risky investments or lavish doodads. Your overhead costs are also decreased, and your assets are larger like a bigger house, etc. Furthermore, you have another voice of reason in your ear and someone to bounce your ideas on.

Posted by Nico at 10:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The reason I'm doing it is because I learned from time management books that the #1 thing that eats away time in our lives is... TV!

It is the one most biggest time waster in our lives.

The other reason is that when I read Bill Gates biography, he was not allowed to watch TV on weeknights but instead played games, board games, card games like bridge and poker, etc.

So what do I do to get my media fix? The BBC.

Listening to the BBC allows me to learn more and think more about events around the world than just plain watching TV. Listening to EPL commentary on the radio spurs your imagination and your vocabulary skills.

It was through the BBC that I learned and started my interest in philosophy, one of the programs was called "Philosopher's In a Nutshell" and they discussed Descarte's "Cogito Ergo Sum". (And it was really useful, that question came up on Singapore's Brainiest Quiz Show).

I'm rediscovering the imagination involved in using your voice to communicate, listening to radio plays and sports commentary and the way to argue a point on some issue on some discussion shows.

Another progam that has influenced me is "Just a minute" a long running game show where contestants have to speak for 1-minute on a topic without repeating any word or point, pausing, or uttering "...errrsss" or "ahh...". Not easy. That in turn piqued my interest now to join the Toastmasters to develop my public speaking skills.

Posted by Nico at 6:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Winners realize they personally have the power to take control of many more aspects of their lives, both mental and physical, than were heretofore thought possible. They know that barring organic damage or congenital faults, self-control is the key to both mental and physical health and can contribute enormously to total well-being.

Losers say: "I can't understand why life did this to me."

Winners say: "I take the credit or the blame for my performance."

Instead of biorhythm computers, astrological signs, gurus, cults, and the government--YOU take the credit for determining, creating, making your own place in this world.

You're in the driver's seat in your own life. In many respects, you've exerted control since you were born and cried for milk and a dry diaper.

You can learn how to respond and adapt more successfully to the stresses of life by accepting responsibility today for causing your own effects.

You alone hold the key to your reactions to people who want to rain on your parades.

Remember, it's not so much "what happens" that counts in life; it's "how you take it."

The real essence of Positive Self-Control is that everything in life is volitional and that each of us has many more choices and alternatives than we are willing to consider.

We even have control over body functions that we thought were purely involuntary.

Winners do make it happen for themselves.

Take Action Today for More Positive Self-Control:

1. Take the blame and the credit for your position in life honestly and openly.


2. Use the volition of "I've decided to," in place of the compulsion "I have to." Use "I'm more comfortable doing this," in place of "I'm afraid to do that," the inhibition, as a condition for non-participation.


3. Carry the affirmative motto: "My rewards in life--will reflect my service and contribution," with you in every daily transaction.


4. Learn how to relax mentally and physically naturally instead of using drugs, stimulants or depressants.


5. Set a specific time frame each week, preferably each day, to initiate action letters and action calls in your own behalf. Don't wait for invitation to succeed--you'll go into the Loser's Hall of Fame as one of those almost-made-its with "permanent potential." Go for it! If someone has not responded to a letter from you within two weeks, send a follow-up mailgram or call. If there is still no response, take an alternate approach with someone else.


6. "Action TNT-Action Today Not Tomorrow" Carry this motto around with you and make it part of your lifestyle. Handle each piece of incoming mail only once. Answer phone calss as quickly as possible.


7. Sit down and create your own best horoscope on paper. List positive alternatives to habits that you seriously want to change. Seek out authorities with proven records of success after whom to model your winning habits.


8. For the next 30 days, go all out in your current job. Whatever you have chosen as your life's work, remember your job couldn't care less about you one way or the other--only you can take the initiative to give your job what it has deserved all along. Dedicate yourself just for one month, not for a lifetime, to giving your maximum effort to your job, your company, your routine and your service to others. At the end of that time, I think you'll find yourself renewing your dedication for another month.


9. Invest in your own knowledge and skill development. Since the only real security is the kind that's inside each of us, practice what Ben Franklin wrote: "If an individual empties his purse into his head, no one ca take it from him." Seminars, books, tapes--take charge!


10. Set your alarm a half-hour early tomorrow and leave it at the earlier setting. Use this extra half-hour of your life to wake up and live. Use this time to answer the question--How can I best spend my time today on priorities that are important to me.

Posted by Nico at 10:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

• Earn $1,000,000.
• Get $5M in funding.
• Launch product by August 8, 2006.
• Get Associate Project Manager Certification. (mental goal)
• Be a toastmaster. (mental/social goal as well)

Posted by Nico at 12:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

One barrier to change that I encountered was the thought that if I do change, people will think what's wrong with me. That I'm weird, that I'm faking success, that I'm being a sham or something like that.

But the thing is change can be done in an instant. Because a decision is a binary choice, either you do choose to change or you choose not to change. There isn't a half-success and half-failure choice. Either you choose continual success or remain mediocre.

Once you have made your choice, you next align your patterns of thought and behaviour towards your choice. This is where it appears to people that you have made a half-choice. No, you made a full choice, it's just that it takes time to steer your habits towards it.

The thing is, you can actually accellerate your changes of what you want from years to months to weeks to days to even minutes when you imagine how you will think, walk, behave, talk and make decisions.

It's not faking it, it's being it.

This is how method actors put on their best performances, they aren't just acting it, they are it, and they did the change in an instant.

For some who complain that it isn't them, they are right, because they haven't made the choice to be a new person, they want to remain the same person as before. They've only agreed that it's good to be a new person but not made the decision to be that new person.

It's just like a person who agrees that some product is good but still doesn't buy it. They may know it's good, even intellectually and emotionally, but as long as they didn't make the decision to shell out the cash for it, they will never own it nor know its benefits.

Jesus said:

"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.

Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it."

(Matthew 13:44-46)

Are we willing to sell away our old self, to give up all that we are yesterday and become what God intended us to be?

We each go through change everyday, except for a lot of us it isn't seen easily with the naked eye. The person we are today isn't the same yesterday, we have new thoughts, new ideas, new actions made by us everyday. LIke the Zen proverb, "You cannot cross the same river twice."

Posted by Nico at 12:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

In order to change ourselves and make a quantum leap in our development, we must change our entire identity.

That's why as some commented that Jesus told us that we must be born-again, that we take a whole new identity upon ourselves leaving the old self and its self-destructive patterns behind.

Each day, we must be ready to realize our new identity. It isn't just adapting new behaviour, it's changing our entire behaviour to suit our new identity.

Posted by Nico at 3:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. Four our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

(2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

Posted by Nico at 2:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I went for a jog last Saturday around Champions Way (that's the road around the Singapore Sports School).

This time I went 7 times round. That's about 6.2km. The longest yet. I'm on my way to complete my first half-marathon on the December 3rd and after that my first marathon.

Jogging really does help you feel more alert.

But you do get really tired and want to rest your limbs in the afternoon with a nap.

But the thing I've found about jogging is that I now walk faster, with more determined steps. I'm more inclined to straighten my back and less slouching when I'm sitting. (Even my butt feels firmer!)

Even when I walk, I look ahead farther to where I'm going, I don't just look anywhere, my focus is directed on where I'm going. I'm starting to get conscious of my timing, on how's my pace.

The other thing is that the feeling of giving up is the same whether you are jogging or doing work. Work and jogging are both tasks that can be difficult at times.

I've learned to push myself a little further despite the feeling, and because of that it even helps in work. The emotional and thought association with difficulty is being replaced with perseverance.

Thinking about it and extending it, exercise and sports do help you to be all rounded, the benefits are not limited to the physical realm, it helps to build yourself up mentally and psychologically.

Posted by Nico at 11:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

There is no such thing as losing or gaining time as if time is a commodity that can be bought or sold or accumulated.

Time cannot be seen or held or felt or even measured! (Yes, it cannot be measured, we "measure time" in relation to the vibrations of a caesium atom).

Time is actually a measure of the rate of change.

And everyone on this earth moves through (in relation to one another) at the same rate through time.

Therefore when we speak of losing time, we actually mean lost opportunities to change our state whether it be financial, social, etc.

Therefore in order to "gain time" it is not time that we are adding, rather, it is the rate of our state change. Whether it be working or making decisions, how fast we do it and how fast we are able to accomplish our intended state changes.

If we need "more time" it is not time that is given, rather it is an extension of a deadline to a later time that is wanted.

Everything in life is dynamic, we should not see things as a static snapshot in time, because nothing remains static.

Having a million dollars is nothing if there is nothing to increase the wealth holding. Even wealth follows the laws of thermodynamics, in which it loses it value over time.

Real wealth as alluded by Kiyosaki and which I would paraphrase is having a rate of increase of wealth that is greater than the forces decreasing our wealth.

Perhaps a good measure of a leap in thinking is not in thinking of things in static manner but rather looking at everything dynamically, things over time. Don't think of getting a million dollars, think of cashflow. Don't think that a person is good/bad, but rather improving/degrading, don't think of an asset as a fixed value, but an object that increases in value or decreases in value.

Therefore perhaps, real wealth and goodness are state changes. Doing good is a state change that lowers entropy. That is why God commends good deeds. I would think through observation that even morality undergoes entropy increases unless something is done. Even our knowledge increases in entropy, we forget, grow old, may suffer strokes, etc.

This is the secret to a lot of successful people, because they have digested that the universe is not just space but a space/time continuum.

Posted by Nico at 9:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

This is the day when your goal setting starts hitting the wall.

Needed to push myself out of bed. Didn't have a good reason in my brain to get out. The only thought that got me out was that I needed to jog to get my blood rushing through my veins.

Therefore, sometimes it isn't when we have no reason or meaning to motivate us that we have no reason, it's just that we've forgotten it.

Whilst jogging, I kept going over my mind, that my day hasn't come yet. That all of this that I'm going through is preparation for some special thing that He has waiting for me, even my struggles can be used by Him for me to encourage and teach others.

Mental and vocational goals are just like physical goals. You start out in the beginning with enthusiasm, but then your body starts complaining and you forget what is the reason you started doing this.

Remember, everything has a logos associated with it. Anything and everything can be used by the one great Logos for His purpose.

Posted by Nico at 1:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

After reading biographies and what-not. I realize that life is all about managing humans, either ourselves or others, 50-89 percent of our lives is involved in working with humans.

So, if there is one skill that is important in life, it's in understanding humans.

Whether it's ourselves, in how to understand what makes us angry, or sad, or motivated.

Or when we are dealing with others, in requesting information, favours, commanding, understanding trends, it's all about humanity.

I wonder noone told us this when we grew up? Or at least noone told me.

It's been do this, do that, be this, be that, but no-one said to me, "understand human beings, for that is (for most of us) 80% of what life is all about."

Don't go into work thinking, it's about machines, or tasks, it's about serving others human beings.

When someone asks you for something, it's not that something she's asking for, it's that something that meets her own human needs.

Machines, etc. everything is about meeting needs for human beings. Even science and space exploration is about the human need to understand or to make our lives better.

When I go on stage, it isn't about putting up just a performance, it's a performance that moves and touches other human beings hearts.

Posted by Nico at 1:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Meet needs and be reliable. (Proverbs 3:3-4)

Make people remember you. (Proverbs 10:7)

Build the reputation that provides security. When people need you, they will run to you. (Proverbs 18:10)

Set out to build your brand on the outset, profit will come later, don't worry that you don't have funds now. When it comes to a choice between profits and reputation, choose reputation first. (Proverbs 22:1)

Brand is more important than freebies or gifts or even a good product. (Ecclesiastes 7:1)

There are only two competitive advantages a company can have, and that is either in cost or brand.

Cost advantages belong to China and India. So that makes my choice easy, I have to build brand.

Building brand is important both for a company and an individual. If you want to win the heart of a woman, build your own brand, your own reputation to woo her.

Posted by Nico at 11:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

It's just that instead of fur coats, replace them with business suits, instead of spears, replace them with pen, paper and a PC or in other cases a podium with a mike, a powerpoint presentation all these are the modern age tools for hunting.

It's no wonder that our emotions go through the same feeling, that of fear or anger when doing business.

For example, some salesmen are fearful of going to their next prospect, the fear still lingers, we're built like that. God put that in for a reason to protect us.

However, instead of hunting animals, it's the resources that other humans provide.

Posted by Nico at 9:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

(2 Cor 5:17)

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Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed--not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence--continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

(Phil 2:12-13)

I think that God's will at most times are really principles, attitudes and values that we must take.

In fact for most times, His will are principles of righteousness, justice, love and mercy.

Very rarely does He specifically intervene for the execution of His specific will. We will know when he wants something done. And we should not be afraid then, because can God's plan be thwarted?

Yet, a lot of times, we as Christians think too much about what job to take or which person to marry. Issues very, very important to us, yet it might not be that important to Him. He gives us the free will to choose. Its our attitude that's more important to Him in how we choose our vocation and work it out and how we choose our life partner and how we interact with him/her.

If God really wanted us to marry X, he will make sure that we marry X. (Now we are treading in the realm of predestination vs. free will and that's an area that I can't delve in here.)

However, we will not now it will be X. Most of the times, we can't see the future, so we do our best based on our wisdom and judgement. The only thing I can say is, don't worry who you will marry, use wisdom, use your heart, because God didn't reveal it to us, he will let our heart and soul choose X.

Its difficult to explain and even I can't describe a mystery I hardly have scratched the surface of.

But in other words, use heart, soul, strength and mind to make His will be done in you. Remember, in Him we live and move and have our being.

If you're really going to make a super-duper mistake (don't worry as long as you made it according to righteous principles and God's word and with all your wisdom available to you), he will send an angel to make sure you don't. In most cases, he gives us the privilege of free-will and the privilege of learning from mistakes.

Yes, it is a privilege to make mistakes. Think how boring it would be if everything we did turned out rosy, we would be robots living in a Utopia without free-will, with no surprises at all, with no evil thoughts. Impossible. Mistakes are inevitable for beings without access to knowledge of the future.

Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God. (1 Peter 2:16)

He gave us commandments, not micro code. He doesn't micro-manage us. He allows us to be autonomous beings with free will, not robots.

Posted by Nico at 7:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I often hear children being complimented by their parents, "Wah, you're working so hard, good boy/girl." Or parents boasting "Wah, my child spends XXX hours doing his homework on top of that his 10 years series, plus tuition, etc."

Unfortunately, I think this sends a wrong message and programming in children.

There is no such thing as hard work, however there is such thing as working hard.

Difficult Work != Working Hard

First of all, if some work is hard, then you're not doing it right. It's got to be easy or broken down into bite size pieces that take up 15 minutes to achieve. Some people fall into this trap a lot because the mind thinks, "How intelligent I am or hard working I am doing this difficult thing." Difficult work is foolishness. Sometimes it's biting off more than you can chew. Sometimes, that means you don't have acquired the skills or are not ready for the challenge or not using the right method.

Spending Lots of Time != Working Hard

Unfortunately, misunderstanding this gives rise to people staying late, thinking they are working hard when they are rather either being inefficient or not goal oriented. This gives rise to a very bad Singaporean culture of people staying back late in the office because going back on time means "you're being lazy, or being mediocre" or trying to look good for the boss.

Another thing is why spend time on an exercise if you already know how to do it? If after 10 exercises you've got the topic down pat, you don't need to continue on, there is a limit to gains on hours spent. To give an exaggerated example, a 10 year old gains nothing spending 10 hours doing math for kindergarten kids.

Boring Work != Working Hard.

Work has got to be fun. Bill Gates, Warren Buffett put in the hours but they say that there is nothing else they would want to do in the world but their jobs. It's fun to them! And you can't work at your peak if you don't find it fun.

When you work hard, it means you concentrate fully on the task at hand, being fully focused on achieving your goal and the results at hand. It may be physically or emotionally painful for a while when you haven't found the solution and need to grow or have barriers or a commitment to stay focused but there is no such thing as hard work. But if some work remains emotionally and physically painful all the time, then perhaps it is a sign something is wrong.

All work is really simple if you break it down and concentrate on achieving the results.

Posted by Nico at 1:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Someone once asked a famous artist how he created the beautiful sculptures from the blocks of stone and marble and he replied that he didn't.

The statue was always there waiting inside, all he did was to remove the parts that didn't belong.

So the same with us. There's a beautiful creation inside of us. Remove the parts that don't belong and let the beautiful creation that was made by God since the creation of time to shine through.

Posted by Nico at 1:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

It's not easy not eating fast food, especially when you want cheap source of meat after a workout.

A lot of hawker fare isn't exactly healthy either, char koay teow, carrot cake, etc are full of oil.

I don't want to eat too much carbs as well, I just need some meat but build myself up, but i realize a lot of food sold are actually carb full.

Pau, Chee Cheong Fun, Breadtalk have a lot of bread or rice.

Not easy, not easy... I think I'll have to make my own lunches, simple sandwiches with the meat I need and fruits to stave off the hunger.

Posted by Nico at 1:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Nokia sees surge in Bluetooth phone market in 2006 - Yahoo! News

As more and more phones have Bluetooth and Java's Bluetooth API (JSR 82) becomes more common, we will have more Bluetooth games coming up in the next few months.

Expect multiplayer games you can play with your neighbour in the MRT as well as peer-to-peer and viral networking methods of distributing data like images, video, etc.

Once it reaches mainstay, you'll find Bluetooth outlets or kiosks that may dispense other types of information or virtual goods like tickets, etc. that act as authenticators when combined with authentication methods like the Liberty Alliance, smart wallets, etc.

Posted by Nico at 1:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

My physical goals for 2006 are:

1. Not eat any fast food for 1 month in January. (So as to gain healthy diet habits).
2. Run in the Standard Chartered Half-Marathon in December 2006
3. Learn Archery
4. Learn Salsa (combined with social goals)
5. Get a Six Pack.

Posted by Nico at 2:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Learning and growing means that you MUST confront your demons and fears. Because if you don't, they will keep on haunting you and use you to pass on your fear to the next generation. So if you value your own life and your children, you MUST face them and defeat them.

Posted by Nico at 1:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I learned today a fascinating paradigm shift in business.

I'm not just buying raw materials, (my time) and selling them at a markup.

The word profit gives connotations of Ferengi scheming and extraction.

Rather, I'm giving added value. I have knowledge and this knowledge is tangibilised in my products. I'm providing value, and my customers are paying for this value.

You wouldn't sell a Picasso at $2100 just because the canvas and paint cost $100 only and his time at maybe $2000 (if he were a painter living today) ? You sell it at hundreds and thousands because of the uniqueness that Picasso brings to a painting.

So it is with me, I'm an artist, my brush is the computer and my paint are the bits and bytes of the program.

The value provided could be enjoyment, or peace-of-mind, or speediness. These are all things that people purchase and value a lot.

Even a plain 'ole trader doesn't sell for a profit. He sells his knowledge, he sells his quality control, he sells his ability to source for products and consistency and availability of supply, he sells his own branding that gives assurance.

Posted by Nico at 4:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

One of the biggest and most misleading ideas implied in church culture (not official teaching) is:

• Just wait, God will provide for you a mate.
• If you are spiritual enough, and seek God earnestly, God will give you the best. Don't settle for second best.

With that two statements, it misleads people who are seriously looking for a mate.

First, because of that a lot of people just sit around waiting for a life-partner to drop out of mid-air into their lives.

God certainly does provide, he provides the birds of the air food, but still the bird must look for the worm. God gave the Israelites the land, but they still had to go in and fight for it. It was not passive inactivity that won the day. God does his part, we must do ours.

Next, what is this idea of "second best"? If A was meant for B but instead marries C this will cause a chain reaction where B marries D which leads to E who was supposed to marry D to marry F and so on... So with just one choice, we cause the whole universe held together by God to crash? Even Microsoft Windows performs better than that!

So we end up with a lot of singles in church, waiting and just waiting... perhaps one of them thinks that she must serve God more, perhaps she wasn't spiritual enough.

So she volunteers... for the children's ministry. Good luck in increasing her odds of finding someone there.

Which leads to another thought. Before the invention of the automobile, most people married within a radius of 2 miles from where they lived. But with the invention of the car, people married within 100 miles from where they lived. Did God's will suddenly change because of the car?

Another wrong idea is that we shouldn't date around too much. It's like playing around we don't want to be considered a 'loose' or flirtatious. Look, if you're righteous enough, you're not going to have sex, it's just getting to know people!

Dr. Henry Cloud in his book "How to Get a Date Worth Keeping"recommends that we change our view of dating:

1. See dating as a wonderful time to find out about other people and what they are like.
2. See dating as a wonderful time to find out about yourself and how you need to change.
3. See dating as an end in and of itself.
4. See dating in a way that takes the pressure off.
5. See dating as an opportunity to love and serve others.
6. See dating as an opportunity to grow in skills.
7. Perhaps promise yourself that you will make no serious commitment for a certain length of time.

Posted by Nico at 3:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

First, reciprocity.

Jesus spoke of the parable of the shrewd manager (Luke 16:1-9). Now, this is one of the few parables that even amazed a pastor friend of mine. Is Jesus advocating dishonest and unethical practices?

I'll leave that to the scholars (but notice immediately that it is written that whoever is dishonest cannot be trusted).

However, the parable is an excellent example of reciprocity. By doing favours for his bosses creditors, he earns himself a welcome when he leaves the company.

Jesus doesn't advocate dishonesty, rather to illustrate the usage of worldly wealth to gain friends, which we Christians don't do very well enough.

Next, commitment and consistency.

The example here includes a Biblical one and something from church history. Shedrach, Meshach and Abednego refused to bow down to the statue of Nebuchadnezzar. They refused to budge one inch knowing that even a small bow would open the floodgates of compromise.

Another example are the christians in Roman history who refused to say "Caesar is Lord." though it cost them their material possessions and even their lives.

The third principle is that of social proof.

Jesus said that wide and broad is the gate that leads to destruction and urged us to enter through the narrow one.

Just because many people do something doesn't mean it's right. Unfortunately, almost 90% of humankind follows the herd. "Well, everyone is doing it, so it's not that bad."

Posted by Nico at 6:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)