Live Life With No Regrets!

Sometimes people say things that they mean.

Sometimes, people say things that they don't mean.

Sometimes, people say things which mean one thing, but hope that you understand another meaning in between the lines.

Sometimes, people say things that mean one thing, but intend the opposite.

Sometimes, people say one thing, but withhold important information.

Sometimes, people lie.

Sometimes, people say one thing, and hope you can fill in the blanks for them.

Sometimes, people when asked a question, answer back with a question.

Sometimes, people ask a question concerning you, but really want an answer for themselves.

Sometimes, people ask a question, but it is really a statement. ("Why you so like dat?" Is not a question, it's a statement.)

Sometimes, people say nothing, but say a lot with their bodies.

With all these permutations... it's a wonder we can ever communicate!

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The meaning of this current moment is not to become successful, no, the real meaning is to overcome my thoughts, my self-doubt, the negative thought patterns and to overcome them.

That is the real meaning.

If a genie appeared before me and offered to remove my negative thoughts, I may not accept it. Rather, I must choose not to listen to my thoughts and learn self-discipline over my thoughts and overcome them. Because, if we allow someone else to control our thoughts, what else is there to let us control and be free independent beings? Then we are not ourselves, we are the someone else.

That is why God doesn't take away our unhappiness, he can't. We must choose to be happy.

If we are left without freewill, then we aren't human, we will be robots.

In other words, then your thoughts will not be your thoughts, and if you're not thinking, then you don't exist. In other words as Descartes put it, "I think, therefore I am."

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We will never be able to understand God and his purposes, for his ways are higher than ours, his thoughts greater than ours.

That's why faith is necessary, our brain capacities are limited in its understanding and knowledge.

Yet we must continue to grow.

I've learned that pride takes many forms. Besides pride in social status or material possessions, some people may be proud of their poverty. They seem to think that they are "better" than those with more money. They would like to paint rich people as proud and they themselves as "more humble" or "more spiritual" and hence "more superior".

But true humility isn't about comparing ourselves with others, its about service, it's about respecting others. It's not about deprecating ourselves but recognizing that others including ourselves are truly amazing creatures created by God so much so that we are destined to be "gods".

As CS Lewis wrote, think of the most boring person you have ever known, when we are transformed in the resurrection that person if he were to come down to earth, we would be tempted to worship him.

But despite the fact that totally understanding the ultimate logos is beyond our reach, for to truly know God would be to become God himself, we must still keep on learning about him. Even as human beings we may never truly understand someone else, we must keep on learning about him and appreciating him/her.

By learning and understanding God, we are in fact nourishing ourselves. For God is the true source of love and nourishment. Without growth we die. Without God we die.

Sometimes we think that we know it all. We don't. When we think we know it all, we stop growing because we stop learning.

Keep on growing, keep on learning, keep on praying. In every moment, every second there is an opportunity to learn, to grow if we only look for it.

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Think of life as a journey.

Right now, my part of the journey is as an entrepreneur.

But it isn't like the stereotype of being a businessman that I should follow.

I'm a student, I'm learning all about life again. Life is a big campus, where you're learning as you go.

As I grew up, I always thought that when I'm working I've made it. I would be like the Adults who always knew what to do or ordered me to do whatever they wanted.

But it didn't. You're always growing, you're always learning.

When you reach the age of accountability, you still realize that you only knew as much as you did yesterday plus what you learned today.

Your decision making abilities didn't automagically become flawless, your knowledge is still lacking, your relationships still remain the same, strangers remain as strangers and enemies remain as enemies.

Being a businessman isn't like the stereotypical fat cat riding a limousine and smoking a cigar... it's rather back to the basics of a caveman out hunting wild mammoth to feed his family, his village.

Like it or not, we're still like those cavemen in cartoons drawn by Gary Larson in his Far Side cartoons.

Life is a game.

If so, then what are the rules?

The strange things I observe about people are that they are people with unique quirks, pride, values, hurts, pains, trigger buttons, hopes, strengths, weaknesses, relationships, resources, power, etc.

How do we handle them or rather manage our relationships with them?

There are basically 4 resources that we must manage in this life.

1. Knowledge.
2. Money.
3. Time.
4. People (Actually, you can't manage people you only manage your relationships.)

The first 3 can be learned in school or going for courses, even though only the first is formally trained in school.

The other 3 must be learned through trial and error.

This is a problem with the education system.

Perhaps when society of a 100 years from now looks back, they will see how primitive our teaching methods are.

Posted by Nico at 1:06 AM | Permalink

Edna was my favourite character in "The Incredibles" because despite being the one without any powers, she had a personality that overwhelmed the rest of the characters.

She was strong enough and sure enough of herself to even slap Mrs. Incredible to her senses.

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Though they recognize the universality of fear and anxiety, Winners don't give in to these emotions.

Losing self-talk: "I'd rather be somebody else."

Winning self-talk: "I do things well because I'm that kind of a person."

Accept yourself as you are right now--an imperfect, changing, growing and worthwhile person. Realize that liking yourself and feeling you're a super individual in your own special way is not necessarily egotistical.

In addition to taking pride in what you are accomplishing--and even more importantly--enjoy the unique person that you are just in being alive right now.

Understand the truth that although we as individuals are not born with equal physical and mental attributes, we are born with equal rights to feel the excitement and joy in believing that we deserve the very best in life.

Most successful people believe in their own worth, even when they have nothing but a dream to hold on to.

Perhaps more than any other quality, healthy self-esteem is the door to high achievement and happiness.

1. Dress and look your best at all times.
2. Volunteer your own name first in every telephone call and whenever you meet someone new.
3. Take inventory of your good reasons for self-esteem today. Write down your BAG (Blessings, Accomplishments and Goals).
4. Respond with a simple, courteous 'thank-you'.
5. Sit up front in the most prominent rows.
6. Walk more erectly and authoritatively in public.
7. Set your own internal standards.
8. Use encouraging, affirmative language.
9. Keep a self-development plan ongoing at all times.
10. SMILE!

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Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the grave, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.

(Ecclesiastes 9:10)

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Influence by Robert B. Cialdini is one of the books recommended in class about how people are influenced, especially by sales methods.

Cialdini lists the 6 forms of influence that almost all methods come from, they are:

1. Reciprocation
2. Commitment and Consistency
3. Social Proof
4. Liking
5. Authority
6. Scarcity

Reciprocation is the factor, when someone does something good for you, e.g. give you a free gift, or a free lunch, you will feel obligated to buy something from him/her as a reciprocation.

One example is that Turkish carpet sellers would give you a free tour of the city. At the end of it you will probably end up with one or two carpets in reciprocation of their favour.

Another example are the Hare Krishnas that press a flower in your hand to solicit donatiosn. Inevitably you will feel obligated to pay for that flower as reciprocal action.

So what is the antidote? Don't take "favours".

Commitment and Consistency is the factor where once you said yes to a small truth or favour, you will feel obliged to be committed to your "new identity".

This technique was used by Vietcong interrogators to turn American GI's against American. They would try to find some way for the GI to agree to some flaw in the government, this in turn will cause him to start agreeing that the USA is bad and evil.

Because you had agreed to one flaw in the government, the GI then had to be consistent in condemning other things about the USA.

Social Proof is the factor that "if everyone does it, it can't be wrong."

This is the way endorsements work or in the classic Singaporean case, "if there's a long queue for it, it's got to be good."

More subtly, laugh tracks in TV comedies help to induce us to laugh, they give audio and "social" cues to find a joke funny.

One way this technique is used is to plant several people in an audience to clap after a performance, inevitably the rest of the crowd will follow.

Antidote: Be conscious of this. Look around for evidence to the contrary, think rationally.

Liking is the factor, that someone would be influenced if you like him.

For example, if you like something, even if evidence points contrary, you will dismiss them as anomalies or exaggerate strengths.

Authority is the factor that you will obey someone if that person has authority.

Celebrity endoresements lend credence to whatever products they endorse because they seem to have a kind of authority.

In other cases, soldiers may blindly go and follow orders that are morally wrong because "they were just following orders."

Antidote: Ask, "Is this guy really an expert?" and secondly, "How truthful can we expect the expert to be here?"

Scarcity is the trick when you think that the object you want is in limited supply or going to be snapped up quickly.

It forces you to move your hand or bid higher to get the object. It also increases your desire for it.

This is the bait used by certain stores when the say, limited supplies, first 30 customers only, etc.

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"But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness." (Hebrews 3:13)

Encouragement and motivation is like food, it must be taken daily.

Dale Carnegie writes that praise is so often scrimped by parents that they hardly praise their children. Some may only encourage their children once a week, or once a fortnight. Some, only once a quarter or when their exam results come about. Some only during festive occasions. Others may wait 30 years before even encouraging their own children once.

I find this not only in children but also bosses and employees. The boss only says something good to his staff when he does something spectacular or only once a month or once a year. I speculate that these bosses think that encouragement needs to be a controlled supply. Is praise such a rare commodity that it has to be rationed out?

Encouragement is so important that the verse quoted above says that it must be done daily, so that we may not sin.

Encouragement is like daily vitamins against the disease of sin!

A lot of us know and do eat fruits and supplement our diets with multi-vitamins, and health supplements. But how many of us encourage one another daily?

So, one of my goals from this day is to call someone everyday and to encourage him/her. Let's see what happens.

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"Noone owes you anything." That's one of the quick rejoinders heard when you get disappointed when things don't go your way, or perhaps there were unmet expectations.

I had to endure this recently when I turned down a job in Jakarta. Then I learned a hard lesson that people when people ask you to do something, it's really for their own interests. Even when you object with your own personal reasons (taking course, pursuing own business, Christmas time is dangerous, etc), they will pursue their requests for their own personal interests without considering yours. I learned the hard lesson that you do have to take care of your own interests and say a firm "No", becuase they aren't looking out for yours.

But Romans 13:7-9 says:

Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law.

The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself."

So really "Noone Owes You Anything" is really a teaching from man, not God.

The unfortunate thing is... we are surrounded by men who don't believe they owe you anything.

We owe one another a debt of love. Each one of us. Unfortunately not everyone believes that.

The world doesn't believe that. A lot of cases it's everyone for himself.

"For everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ." (Phil 2:21)

Paul wrote the above, because he too experienced the loneliness and abandonment from people who thought were his friends. He had enemies, he wept (Phil 3:8). Not everyone in the church eagerly supported his ministry, except the Macedonians. He has experienced selfish co-workers who preached the gospel out of envy and rivalry. He has terrible enemies, whom he calls "dogs".

Yet the book of Philippians shows that he is rejoicing in spite of all this. He talks about humility and the knowledge that "the best is yet to be."

[A thought to ponder: Are we supporting any Pauls in prison? Or are we so busy going about our business?]

"Our generation is realistic, for we have come to know man as he really is. After all, man is that being who invented the gas chambers of Auschwitz; however he is also that being who entered those gas chambers upright, with the Lord's Prayer or the Shema Yisrael on his lips"

(Anne Frank's statement is too often quoted out of context and it is too simplistic. If all men are basically good, what is the point of Christ's redemptive work on the cross? Bruno Bettelheim is quoted: "If all men are good at heart, there never really was an Auschwitz; nor is there any possibility that it may recur" (Anne Frank. Reflections on Her Life and Legacy.)

But Paul writes and encourages the Christians to:

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." (Phil 2:3-4)

Galations 6:2 says: "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." but at the same time in 6:5 says "for each one should carry his own load."

What can I say for now? Further study and meditation required. So we have to carry our own load and as well as our brothers.

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He is a warrior, yet he is a master of a performing art just like I am. (Besides being a harpist, he's also an actor! See 1 Sam 21:13.) He comes from humble beginnings. He writes poems that expresses his joys, and sorrows, and even his anger, anger that may even be criticized as "un-Christian" were it to be uttered in public, yet the very same struggles that we go through yet hide or only write in our own private diaries.

Instead of the traditional sculpture of Michaelangelo's, I choose to show Gian Lorenzo Bernini's sculpture of David which show's David in action and the aspects of his life symbolically portrayed in the armor, harp, and his shepherd's bag.

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As a result they can continuously not only "play from strength" in the game of life, but also avoid errors and correct weaknesses.

Their judgements are characterized by extreme honesty. They don't kid others and they don't kid themselves.

Losers say, "Who knows what I could do if I only had a change." Winners say, "I know who I am, where I'm coming from and where I'm going.

Make this moment the moment of truth about yourself.

You have been selling yourself short all of your life.

You have the opportunity to experience more environmental, physical and mental/spiritual abundance than you could use in ten lifetimes.

Open up your lenses to the possibilities and alternatives available in your life. Change your attitude and your lifestyle and your many environments will change automatically.

Understand your own uniqueness. Appreciate the difference in others.

Relax and learn to respond positively to stress. Change for the better that which can be changed.

Remove from your presence those negative influences that cannot be changed. Adapt and adjust to those negative influences that cannot be changed or removed.

Take Action Today For More Positive Self-Awareness:

1. Schedule a comprehensive annual physical with your own physician or a reputable clinic. Not just a simple blood pressure, urine exam but a complete detailed physical. Every two years go for an even more detailed blood, EKG, upper and lower G.I. series, x-rays, eyes, etc. This is a prevention check and tune-up. Go for a teeth cleaning session with your dentist. Call now or in the morning for that physical exam. Don't put it off--do it.
2. Be more curious about everything in your world. Read book digests. Listen to audio CD's. Go to lectures and seminars. Seek out and gain counsel from the most successful people in your profession and hobbies. (They love to talk about their experiences and are surprisingly eager to help others.)
3. Break the daily and weekly routine you have set. Get out of that comfortable rut. Unplug the TV for a month. Go to work via a different route or mode of transport. Plan a trip to Chile. Have your children give their best toys to an orphanage this Christmas. Take a bath instead of a shower.
4. Make a list of "I Ams"--Two columns. Assets of "I Am Good At" in one column. Liabilities or "I Need Improvement In" in the other. Pick your 10 best traits and your 10 traits needing most improvement. Take the first 3 liabilities and schedule an activity or find a winner who will help you improve in each of the 3 areas. Forget about the rest of the liabilities. Remember, relish and dwell on all ten of your best assets. They'll take you anywhere you want to go in life!
5. Look at yourself through other people's eyes. Imagine being your parents. Imagine being that person married to you. Imagine being your child. When you walk into a room or office, imagine that each person is thinking two descriptive adjectives about you--such as "well-dressed, confident" or "aloof, nervous." What would they be in each case about you? Why?
6. Look at yourself through your own eyes objectively. This is easier said than done for all of us. If you want to test this exercise, try standing in front of a full-length mirror with no clothes on, with only a grocery bag over your head, with eye holes cut out. Look at yourself from front, rear and side views. Talk about a mind-blowing experience! When you look in the mirror day after day--your friendly face is used to seeing yourself and has rationalized all of your flaws--even the flab and dark circles. What the paper sack over that well-known face, you become a stranger in the nude. It's an experience you will remember for weeks to come.
7. Take 30 precious minutes each day for you alone. Relax and breathe deeply from the pelvis and stomach up into your lungs when you inhale. Exhale slowly. Mediate and let go as if you were lying in the center of a water bed the size of a football field. Float freely. Give yourself at least one beautiful half-hour out of every twenty-four to be completely aware that your life belongs to you and that all exists in your life is seen out of your eyes and experienced by your mind and body.
8. Look for truth and speak the truth. Don't let the ads and fads make you one of the countless victims of greed. When you read something that impresses you, check the source. When in doubt, call the research department of a national publication you trust or call a major university you respect. If it really works wonders, it will be available everywhere like aspirin. If it's a breakthrough, look for it to be announced by reputable news authorities and government agencies. Rather than hearing what you want to hear, listen for the facts of the matter. And remember, everything you think is your opinion, based upon your impressions from limited sources. Keep expanding your sources from the best authorities. View everything with a certain open-minded scepticism... open minded enough to explore it without prejudice... and sceptical enough to research and test its validity.
9. Be aware of the children and the elderly. Remember that childhood is that wonderful, special classroom in which the adult is developed. Listen to their dreams. Observe their special talents. Ask for their opinions and reactions. Also, remember that becoming elderly is inevitable. It can be a lonely or glorious time. With activities, goals, horizons, and attention, being a senior citizen can be as exciting as being a senior in high school. It's a question of Positive Self-Awareness.
10. Be empathic.
Learn to feel how others feel and consider where they are coming from before criticizing or passing judgement. Even if you can't feel for everyone you meet, be certain that you feel with every living thing you encounter. It's the key to Positive Self-Awareness.

Posted by Nico at 12:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

1. Positive Self-Awareness: Be open to abundance, emphatic to others, adaptable to stress.
2. Positive Self-Esteem: Like and accept yourself for who you are at this moment.
3. Positive Self-Control: Take full responsibility and credit for causing your own effects.
4. Positive Self-Motivation: Focus all thoughts and energy on immediate priorities and rewards.
5. Positive Self-Expectancy: Create your own winning horoscope for good health and good luck.
6. Positive Self-Image: Preview your future attractions by imagining them as "Oscar Winners".
7. Positive Self-Direction: Purpose, forged in goals and priorities, is the key to success.
8. Positive Self-Discipline: Practice winning by relaxing, rehearsing and relenting.
9. Positive Self-Dimension: Look beyond yourself, create other winners, and live in the "Now".
10. Positive Self-Projection: Listen, set the best example and be lovable.

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After some discussion, the attribute that James Bond had that made him a hero wasn't his charm and wit, but rather his ability to stay calm and confident under pressure.

James Bond. Because he's the cool can do it all man.

He's quick thinking and tough, yet he manages to wrap it all with the gentlemanly manners of an Englishman.

He's not a tech genius, he needs Q for that. Yet he has the charm and wit and purpose of a man on a mission.

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Excerpt from Common Sense, written in 1776 by Thomas Paine.

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Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody. (1 Thessalonians 4:11-12)

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Quality. Quantity.

I was talking to with some classmates and mentioned that human beings are getting less sleep than 100 years ago when people normally slept 10 hours a day.

Someone then interjected, it's not the quantity of sleep but the quality that's important.

Yes, however, 6 hours of quality sleep is still insufficient for a human being. That's like 40% less sleep than usual.

That's like saying a person needs 8 glasses of water a day and someone saying it's not the quantity but the quality that's important. Whether you drink tap water or swiss alpine mineral water, you still need 8 glasses of water. You can survive on 6 or 4 glasses of water a day, but the consequences accumulate over your lifetime. You are less energetic, your metabolism slows down, toxins accumulate in your body, your body is less supple, and your body deteriorates more rapidly.

Getting less sleep means that your body may compensate with micro-sleep. 4-5 minutes of sleep during the day. Less concentration. Your mind is also focused at the end of the day to getting to bed or longing for rest. Slower responses.

In France, fatigue causes 1 in 3 accidents while drug/alcohol affected driving only causes 1 in 5! (link).

"Drivers averaging less than 7 hours of sleep per night increased their odds of being in a sleep-related crash versus a non-sleep related crash nearly 2-fold." Driving While Sleepy Should Be A Criminal Offense Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine

If you saw your friend intending to drink an extra 5 drinks in bar would you stop him? Yes. But if he said he is going to get 2 hours less sleep? Yet 1 drink on 6 hours of sleep is equivalent of 6 drinks on 8 hours of sleep. (link) Taking 3 drinks would already get you arrested for drunk driving!

Yet, workaholic societies like Singapore applaud "sacrificing sleep" as virtues rather than as liabilities.

Quantity does equate to quality in this instance.

The problem perhaps lies in our language. Because we have two different words to describe the benefit of an object, we think that they are separate issues.

Our language doesn't imply that there is an interconnection between issues. When we use language to analyze issues, in our "scientifically trained" education, we think that certain factors are independant of one another.

(The scientific method works by taking various conditions, changing one factor and leaving the others constant. Doing this on each element or method one-by-one, by process of elimination we can arrive at source of the problem/solution.)

What other clashes of words lead us to believe that they are independent of one another?

How about:

Humility and confidence.
Flexibility and consistency.
Simplicity and profoundness.
Meek and powerful.
Task oriented and people oriented.

Seemingly opposed words, yet true leaders and wise men know that in life both combine together.

I wonder really then, the language, words and grammar of angels. The language of humans need to evolve even further.

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"When you kick it, it goes in the right direction," Zidane said.

You mean the ball never went the right direction with current balls?

"With the ball's movement, it doesn't go off everywhere, it goes where you want it to go and that's important. Your passing, controlling and shooting of the ball - it's in one direction and that's what you need." David Beckham.

Oh wow, you mean that before this in all football matches, the ball never shot straight and never went where you wanted it to go? You mean a ball can go in two directions at the same time?

Ooooh... I see, look closely, all of the errors when players missed the goal... you can now blame on the ball.

And what will happen in 2010 when another new ball is introduced? What will they say then? "Before this, the ball didn't have enough power, the ball couldn't... etc..."

Posted by Nico at 12:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Half an hour everyday over 48 years adds up to 1 year.

So, if you can save 1/2 hour everyday by forgoing unnecessary, unimportant, things, you add one whole year of time in your life to do other more important and enjoyable things to do.

And that's not just a chronological year, it's an entire year of time alive, awake-potentially productive time.

So, make it a point to shave 1 minute here and a minute there. Even 15 minutes a day saved, adds up to 6 months of extra time over 48 years.

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Despite all that is taught about there removing discrimination. It exists in the minds of everyone.

I noticed this when I was looking at Malaysian billboards and tv ads. There is a tendency to go for the "pan-asian" look. A mix of gweilo and asian features so that you don't really know what race the person is. Hardly do I see any ads of Indians despite them being 10% of the Malaysian population.

Why do some advertisers choose people of a certain race to promote certain items? If people are not racially prejudiced there wouldn't be any difference who you put in an ad to promote it.

The realities of life is that preferences based on race, sex, beauty do exist.

Despite saying "what's outside doesn't matter as much as the inside", people do judge based on appearances. Somebody once said, "only ugly people say 'what only matters is the inside.'"

Despite all the teaching of logic, people in reality do not make decisions based on logic. 99.99% of people make decisions based on their emotions.

Unfortunately, this fact must be learned from experience. I have never really read any textbook that said, "humans are make decisions emotionally." But declaring that out loud by a teacher in primary school implies, she being a human herself makes decisions emotionally and treats people emotionally and even has prejudices.

Somehow, learning the uncertainties, the foibles and vagaries of human nature is often left to chance. Perhaps the best source of understanding it is from creative works like literature and drama.

Marketers and sales people must understand human nature and what influences decision makers.

I hear that certain sales departments actually map out a prospects decision making hierarchy and who the real decision makers are and who are the influencers and what are their buttons.

For example, the CEO may be the decision maker on paper, but it may be his right-hand man that's the one who really runs the show together with his mistress. These things are never written down on paper but they must be learnt. Learning to read in between the lines is something that isn't taught in school but is a necessary school.

In a majority of people what a person says is 95% never what he does. But you can't say this to a person's face. Nobody likes being called a hypocrite.

A lot of humans don't really say what they want. They say what they think they want. Most don't really know what they want.

A lot of humans also believe that they are the center of the universe. Which is also untrue but is an unfortunate illusion that is shared by 95% of the population.

Why do people in authority teach subordinates when they make a mistake to promise, "It will never happen again." Looking at it logically, noone can promise anything with absolute certainty (the word "never") what happens in the future. You might be able to say, "I will do all that is within my power to make minimise the chances of it to not happen again. However, the future is not ours to see." But replying that would make you look like a smart-aleck. What the authority figure wants is really reassurance and perhaps some grovelling on your part to feed his own inflated ego in the illusion that he can order someone around.

Which brings us to the point, since people by nature believe they are the centre of the universe, they hate being upstaged by anyone else.

Another strange belief that humans have is that they have control. Which isn't true. You can't control anything except what you think, say or do. You can give orders to your subordinates, but he may choose not to do it.

In reality, there is nothing we do control. We only control our choices, our thoughts, our values, our attitudes.

Another strange concept humans have is this thing called "ownership". It permeates our language, words like "my car", "my house", "my wife", "my children", "my life". There is nothing we own in this world. Not even our lives. We have to give it up permanently one day.

We don't own our wives, we don't own our children but people sometimes want to force their children to be their own fantasy doll to live out their own dreams and to do the things that they themselves never dared risk themselves.

And when confronted with truth, humans will deny it.

Strange creatures these humans.

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This is what you get when you don't return to your bus on time after your break.

You get left behind by a disgruntled bus driver.

This happened at the Lucky Garden rest stop at Yong Peng.

But on second thoughts, what happened to him? I could only shoot a prayer for him and hope he wasn't robbed in the toilet or somehow passed out somewhere.

Posted by Nico at 3:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Life is really meant to be simple.

It's just too cluttered with too many stuff in life that we are distracted and burdened with too many things.

Just list down what are your priorities in life.

How many are there?

At most there are 5-7 things that are of real concern. And one is the most important of them all.

Secondly, there is only one moment that you can be concerned about. And that is now and today.

Take one day at a time. The rest will clear itself up. Take one task at a time. A journey of a thousand miles begin with the first step. Don't worry about the 10th step or the 20th step or the 539th mile.

Let your desk be uncluttered. How many things on your desktop do your really use? Keep the rest in your drawer.

Let your bedroom be uncluttered. How many things on your dresser do you really use?

Let your bathroom be uncluttered. How many items do you use to take care of yourself.

Let your mind be uncluttered. How many things can you do in one day? How many problems can you solve in one day? How many appointments can you make in one day?

Let your daily schedule be simplified and think of what one thing that you want to accomplish today and who you want to encourage today.

Posted by Nico at 5:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

• Don't trust someone fully, especially when he gains something from you.
• Always appeals to greed (or vanity or fears).
• Claims it's risk-free.
• Dismisses your objections too easily.
• If it's too good to be true, it is!
• If it was really a great way to make money, why is he telling it to you?
• If he claims to have insider or special or secret knowledge.
• Does he try to find out personal things about you, that have nothing to do with the business? (I.e. probing for your weaknesses, your fears, etc)

Posted by Nico at 9:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

There is only one valid definition of business purpose: to create a customer.

Because of its purpose to create a customer, any business enterprise has two--and only these two--basic functions: marketing and innovation. They are the entrepreneurial functions.

Marketing is the distinguishing, the unique function of the business... Marketing is not only much broader than selling, it is not a specialized activity as at all. It encompasses the entire business. It is the whole business seen from the point of view of its final result, that is from the customer's point of view. Concern and responsibility for marketing must therefore permeate all areas of the enterprise.

Peter Drucker.

I'm taking a business diploma in enterprise development currently.

Marketing is an interesting activity. It is an activity that encompasses almost everything. Besides Nike shoes, Coca-Cola, even Britney Spears is a product, Karl Marx's communism is a product, Jesus Christ is a product, you and I are products.

For example, one marketing activity is romance. Romance is a marketing product. You are the product, you are selling yourself to a potential customer (who will be your bride).

So let's take yourself.

If that's the case, what type of product are you? Are you fun and adventurous? Safe and stable? Mature and reliable?

What will be the slant of your marketing efforts? What is your slogan in life?

And then who are your target customers? Who do you want to buy you? What target segment do you want? What sort of profile would like you?

What about the 4 P's of marketing? Price, Product, Promotion, Placement.

At what price is the person marrying having to pay? (But remember also it works the other way round. You're also the buyer, at what price are you willing to pay for her). Jesus Christ as a product means you have to pay the price of suffering and picking up the cross daily.

Promotion, Place: How are you promoting yourself? Staying at home won't work. You've got to sell yourself. Make yourself visible.

You are also a service:
intangibility: Saying "I love you" isn't enough. Show it with roses or gifts.
perishability: An exiting time at a theatre show needs to be spent with someone.
heterogeneity: Be consistent in your behavour.
inseparability: Your service to your wife is inseparable from yourself.
ownership: You still own yourself. Your wife doesn't own you.

Posted by Nico at 7:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

If we limit our growth to only what we see in our parents, the world cannot become a better place.

We must become better than what we see demonstrated in their lives.

For some, it can seem quite a daunting task if your father is Michael Schumacher or Michael Jordan.

But that is only one aspect, i.e. career wise. What I mean is character growth wise.

If our parents are crabby and complaining we must be positive and gracious. If they are negative we must be positive.

If they are lazy, we must be hardworking.

If the children of the world only aspire to be like their parents, they world would not become better.

Unfortunately, there is a problem here. A lot of parents want their children to be made in their own image and be the extensions of their egos. A pygmalion project perhaps. But how many parents have ever said to their children, "please become better than me, kinder, gentler, stronger, wiser."

Perhaps, if they were to say that, it would be admitting their own shortcomings. And humans do not like seeing their shortcomings highlighted.

I want to become better, and better than the person I was yesterday. I also want to tell my children to be better heights than me, to become better than I am, to receive a double portion of what I received.

But in the meantime, before I do have children of my own, I'll make sure I'll become a tough challenge to follow.

Posted by Nico at 8:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country, and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats. A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things.

- Henry David Thoreau

Posted by Nico at 12:24 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)